Var olmak için beklenir mi? Bekleyerek mi var olunur yoksa? Var oldukça daha da var olabilmeler için mi bekleriz? Beklemeden kalmak olur mu? Ya da beklemekten ayrılmak? Beklemeden kalabiliyorsak, kalmak alışkanlık mıdır? Bekleyerek kalabiliyorsak, bekleyiş mi alışkanlıktır? Beklenti beklemenin gaz hali değil midir? Suskun ve uçucu. Beklemekten vazgeçmek yine bir beklenti için değil midir? Öyleyse, her ayrılış bir ‘beklenti’ için ‘beklemeye’ son verme değil midir? Bekleyişten ayrı düşmek yoksa her ayrılış bir beklenti arzusu değil midir ve her ayrılık da aslında kalmak bir yerde?
Giderken vazgeçilebiliyorsa kalırken vazgeçilemez mi o zaman? Varlık bekler varlık gider; varoluş ise süreçtir, hayaldir, arzudur, bekleyiştir; kalır bitmez gider bitmez. Bekler sonra yine bekler.
Sırf Sen Gel diye ‘Dün’ Godot’yu Bekledim
Ağustos 2014
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